The FF-Files: Say What Again, I Dare You

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Another day, another series of comical messages and emails received by Sherdog Fight Finder. This, the third installment of our "Say What" series, features some of the better bizarre, mistranslated or laughably insulting phrases said to Sherdog Fight Finder staff recently. As we have stated, most of the back-and-forth between submitters and Fight Finders is cordial and professional. We never let them get to us, no matter how hard they try.

Anyone who aspires to work in the MMA industry should have thick skin, but the special few who immerse themselves in fighter recordkeeping require even tougher calluses. After all, those sending information to us depend on Sherdog Fight Finder to accurately and thoroughly document their combat histories. Their livelihoods depend on it. If honest interactions account for most of our communiques, the sour ones stick out and tend to make us laugh. To not kick over any additional beehives, we choose not to publicly identify these submitters, but their overreactions bear mentioning.

“Hello brother, thank you for deleting the fight that was not related to me, but some other fights have also been deleted. My conscience does not accept that they will be harmed because of their fog. Please match their brother. I will commit suicide”

This seemingly altruistic gentleman – an extreme rarity in the fight game – contacted the Fight Finder team to inform us that wins attributed to his record were not his. We did the research, and his honorable request was genuine. It is the 1% of the 1% of fighters that reach out, letting us know that they did not earn this victory at that event, and most would prefer to skate on until someone catches them. He took it a little too seriously, making us wonder if someone, like a member of his triumphant opponent's team, contacted him and had some words.

“But I will explain to you that the camera was interrupted and the fight was not filmed to the end. But I cut my head off if I’m lying as a result. If you don’t trust me, just don’t’ add this fight to sherdog. I’m not interested in it.”

via GIPHY

When we get the bogus fights sent our way, many conversations play out similar to this one. They may not be quite as graphic, but they typically revolve around "I know I have no evidence to support this claim, so just trust me." Would you believe that this particular submitter actually falsified the result they sent to us, claiming they won a fight that scored a draw? Bring on the executioner's axe.

“Amirov’s victory, tko (knocked off opponent’s leg), 1st"

In keeping with the violent theme, this was a short but sweet fight result. It merited a double-take, and thankfully, the submitter provided a 23-second video which documented the stoppage. Imagine our disappointment when this seemingly wild method of victory turned out to be a tame one-shot leg kick stoppage. An all-time gore list moment, this was not. That may be for the best, as 2023 has been an extremely rough year for leg injuries. Ask Grigory Ponomarev at ACA 161, or Dylan Reischman at Combate Global less than a month ago.

“I have a disease that I want to record and I want to appeal the ruling in the last match”

Dammit Jim, I’m a Fight Finder, not a doctor. Also, we don’t hear appeals at Sherdog. We don’t want that authority. Call a hospital, and then your local federation.

“Please add a tournament. And Ring is written on the floor. fights k-1. the only fight in mma. If there were more fights in mma, I would send you. But I can’t give birth to them for you”

This overdramatic theme that is running through this article was not specially curated to only show off these specific comments. The last few months, there must have been something in the water to ratchet up the rhetoric from something mean-spirited to a life-and-death situation. The death threats have not rolled in like before, which may be for the best given that those goofs would be thoroughly clowned. In this instance, the person wrote that there was just one MMA fight on the card, even though…we found several. Maybe they were adopted.

“Hello sir, I’m currently a boxer trying to be a contestant in the UFC. I’m ex-military trained grappling 20years ago and believe grappling is a midget sport. I am excited and ready when Called upon welterweight or heavyweights. I’m Currently on Standby Awaiting for the call of Duty ……
5feet 7inches or 67inches your fighters can come at any AGE or WEIGHT.
I look forward to hearing from U!!”

This little gem might have been better suited for our “Sir, This is a Wendys” article about contacting us about something outside of our professional scope. It was too good to keep on the shelf. This 5-foot-7 heavyweight boxer is ready for his shot in the Octagon, and he will even take on fighters that cut age! This is a gladiator that would make Chris Barnett look like a skyscraper, and he won't do any of that rasslin’. He comes to bang. Let him bang, bro.

You can send your Fight Finder-related requests to [email protected], but leave your stupid comments in your pocket.