The Good, Bad and the Ugly from UFC 297

The Ultimate Fighting Championship crossed the border on Saturday to put on its first pay-per-view card of the year. Dricus Du Plessis dethroned middleweight champion Sean Strickland in a five-round war, while Raquel Pennington claimed the vacant women’s bantamweight title in the co-main event. Was it worth the price of admission? Here’s the good, bad and the ugly from UFC 297.

The Good: Depends … Are you Canadian?

Let me preface by saying this: I don’t have a dog in the fight.

But if you like Canadian mixed martial arts or can’t stand it, I’m sure you felt some way about how the local fighters fought Saturday night.

Canadian fighters went out sad in front of their supporters, finishing the night 2-7 overall. The only Canadians who saw their hand raised were Gillian Robertson and Jasmine Jasudavicus, and she was fighting a zombie (more on that later).

But I don’t feel bad that Canadian fans went home underwhelmed. Your fighters were set up in favorable matchups and couldn’t deliver. Plus, I didn’t care for the terrible local refereeing and frequent “f*ck you” chants from the crowd. I thought you guys were supposed to be friendly? Fighters like Chris Curtis, Sam Patterson and Sean Woodson showed up, so direct your anger in the proper direction.

How does a nation that produced arguably the greatest mixed martial artist fail to shine in its showcase event? Well, allow me to give you the rundown.

After dominating the first round, Malcolm Gordon (missed weight) lost his balance and fell into an RNC.

Jasudavicus beat Priscilla Cachoeira like a pinata for 14 minutes while referee Matt Rocca enjoyed the view.

Yohan Lainesse did his best impersonation of a grappling dummy before being choked out in under three minutes.

Gillian Robertson put forth one of the best performances of her career in a second-round demolition of Polyana Viana.

Serhiy Sidey got split open like a grapefruit against a guy he “beat” four months ago.

Charles Jourdain was outclassed so soundly that he thought his name was Sean Woodson.

Brad Katona gave Garrett Armfield an involuntary vasectomy and still lost by unanimous decision.

Marc-Andre Barriault decided to play it safe in the biggest fight of his career.

Mike Mallot gassed out after dominating Neil Magny, who hasn’t had a knockout win since 2018, before being knocked out by Neil Magny.

In all, Canada produced a card that you either hated or thoroughly enjoyed, depending on your perspective. The prelims were solid. The main card had memorable fights, and Pennington vs. Mayra Bueno Silva allowed fans to recharge with a 25-minute cat nap before the main event. Everybody wins!

The Bad: What’d he Say?

Jourdain could’ve put himself on the path to becoming a ranked featherweight with a win over the slippery Woodson, but the Quebec native picked a bad night to have a bad night.

Despite fighting in front of thousands of supporters, Jourdain fought uninspired. What should’ve been a striking chess match between a sneaky counter-puncher and an explosive striker was a masterclass on Woodson’s part. Most of the fight looked like a sparring match and Woodson wasn’t breaking a sweat. He didn’t have to.

Aside from Jourdain’s last-ditch effort at a guillotine in the waning seconds, nothing the 28-year-old did convinced me that he won the fight … except Bruce Buffer’s pronunciation skills.

If losing on the cards is a bad way to go out, thinking you won has to be worse. To Jourdain’s credit, he never should’ve been in that situation. While 29-28 was a fair scorecard, the first and second rounds clearly belonged to Woodson. Two out of the three judges understood that.

But in a sad attempt at dramatics, one judge needed to be difficult and score the fight for Jourdain, setting up a dramatic announcement of the winner. So, while most of us at home heard Buffer belt “Sean,” many heard — or wanted to hear — him say Charles. Personally, I don’t think the names sound alike, but what do I know? I know that Jourdain looked foolish with his arms in the air, celebrating a victory he didn’t deserve. Seeing Daniel Cormier burst his bubble all over a miscommunication was heartbreaking, albeit hilarious.

Unfortunately for Jourdain, a lackluster loss to a talented fighter became meme-worthy. He left the cage feeling humiliated when he should’ve been upset himself for fighting harder. His corner should’ve given him some advice … or maybe he didn’t hear it.

The Ugly: When a Zombie Takes Too Many Headshots

Those who skipped the UFC 297 early prelims were spared from witnessing what might have been the most one-sided beatdown in the history of women’s MMA. Seriously. Why did Cachoeira even show up?

The Brazilian bomber, on the wrong side of 30, couldn’t bother to make the 125-pound limit against Canadian flyweight Jasudavicus, so the fight was moved to a 132-pound catchweight. But that wasn’t enough to appease Cachoeira’s unprofessionalism, so the fight finally settled at bantamweight — 10 pounds over her opponent's usual fighting weight.

If missing weight wasn’t cringy enough, Cachoeira's walkout could’ve pushed it over the edge. Known as “Zombie Girl” to her handful of supporters, Cachoeira trotted out into enemy territory to the tune of The Cranberries’ hit song. Unfortunately for Cachoeira, the moment paled compared to Chan Sung Jung’s iconic final walk to the cage as the Korean Zombie last August.

With most of Scotiabank Arena in her corner, Jasudavicus wanted to torture and humiliate Cachoeria. That’s exactly what she did.

Jasudavicus beat Cachoeria like she stole her lunch from the employee breakroom. For 14 minutes, Cachoeria’s face was a sponge absorbing any shot thrown her way. The fight could’ve been stopped several times, but Jasudavicus lacked the power to put her to sleep.

Not only was the thrashing embarrassing, but it was also historic. Jasudavicus out-landed Cachoeria 326-26. Yes, you read that right. Jasudavicus landed 300 more punches than Cachoeria.

Whom did she piss off? Why wasn’t this fight stopped earlier? If Cachoeria didn’t tap out with 39 seconds left to an anaconda, she might still be getting smacked around the Octagon. This is not the type of loss that sends a fighter to the drawing board. If Cachoeira fights again, it should be at a Title Boxing Club.