Tops on the list of apocalyptic harbingers: Adam Sandler's film career, Sly Stallone in yet another "Rambo," Leno routinely beating Letterman.
The knuckle-chaffed Slice (real name Kevin Ferguson (Pictures), for mass media types eager to run a background check) is about to enjoy the most expeditious journey from Miami hood to national phenomenon since Tony Montana.
That's because Gary Shaw and his ProElite label saw wisdom where the UFC saw folly. Namely, if a network wants you to make creative concessions in exchange for primetime exposure, you don't puff your chest out like a blowfish. You smile, say thank you, and enjoy the opportunity.
For years, the UFC (via contractually surly Dana White) vowed never to acquiesce to network demands. Their stubbornness was alleged to have cost them a deal with HBO, and it's not unfair to suggest similar conflicts stalled discussions with broadcast networks.
Now Shaw and his upstart EliteXC promotion have strolled right through a door the UFC had left open, aligning with CBS for a series of live specials -- the same CBS that, thanks to "Survivor," "CSI" and other ventures, can boast of being the most-watched station in any given week.
It's conceivable that after 15 years of having a near-monopoly on hematomas, that error is going to finally cost the UFC an appreciable portion of market share.
Consider: The promotion dug itself out of the political and financial quicksand it had suffered for nearly a decade only by aligning itself with Spike, a mundane cable station that was best known for basketball played on giant trampolines. Three years and one amazing live fight later (Forrest Griffin (Pictures) vs. Stephan Bonnar (Pictures)), the UFC now has a funnel for successfully pitching pay-per-view events to its target demographic.
In spite of that influence, Spike is hardly the 800-pound gorilla (or sumo) of the dial. Compared to broadcast networks, Spike delivers a far less substantial audience. The "Ultimate Fighter 6" finale drew 2.5 million viewers in December; on CBS, that number would mean mass firings. One of CBS' higher-profile failures, the drama "Jericho," attracted nearly six million viewers last week.
In plain English: Even on its worst day, an Elite broadcast on CBS is likely to double or triple the audience of an average "Ultimate Fighter" episode.
Immediately, Shaw's enterprise will have nabbed a crucial component of long-term viability in the crowded combat sports market: mass exposure. Having more eyes on your product means more potential for your particular brand of mayhem. Instead of getting quizzical looks from light-on-cash consumers who refuse to sample anything other than the proven UFC offerings, they'll be met with recognition.
Lifting the UFC's template and using it on a broader scale is Shaw's ticket to being a viable competitor. CBS Corporation is a massive enterprise, brimming with publishing outlets and Web destinations, all of which would be beneficial to a barnacle like Elite. (It's so massive, in fact, that network owner Sumner Redstone also owns Viacom, the head office of Spike, making Elite and the UFC the broadcast equivalent of distant cousins.)
If Elite can look to any precedent, good or bad, it's obviously boxing. NBC's "Contender" did little for the sport, but it was also devoid of any real authenticity or media buzz.
Before the advent of pay-per-view and promoter greed, though, boxing was a television staple that helped build the legacies of fighters like Ali, Robinson and LaMotta. Leonard-Hearns was an early success story for the PPV model because both men had been introduced to audiences via the roof antenna. You can't sell something blocked by a curtain of ambiguity or mystery. (That the UFC was able to attract attention in the mid-1990s without a TV presence grows more remarkable by the day.)
Expect Zuffa to come to a speedy arrangement with one of the other networks soon. While the UFC is certainly not hurting for dollars, the aggression displayed by White would seem to preclude allowing Elite to gain momentum on a free-to-air station. And if a sense of urgency allows for a network to tweak the broadcast, injecting more objectivity into the event, all the better.
You can also anticipate White to begin his prototypical smear campaign in the coming days, minimizing the Elite product and taking special exception to Slice, who has yet to prove himself against credible competition in the ring. (Hard to argue, but how quickly the UFC forgets how it used a long-expired Ken Shamrock (Pictures) to pull record ratings on Spike against Tito Ortiz (Pictures). Better than kicking asses is putting them in seats.)
The news couldn't have come at a worse time for the UFC, which is dealing with its high-profile athletes surveying a climate hungry for their services. The only thing more headache inducing than competition on CBS is competition that's using Ortiz or Randy Couture (Pictures) for early momentum.
As the wild card in the equation, Slice certainly skews a bit younger than CBS' typical demo, but that's probably the point -- whether America is ready for him is another question.
One thing's for sure: A pair of Air Kimbos can't be far behind.
For comments, e-mail jrossen@sherdog.com