The Big Pudzianowski: Polish Strongman Mulling Emelianenko

MiddleEasy.com got their hands on a rough translation of a Polish newspaper report: while some key details could be getting mangled in the imported text, there appears to be some notion that James Bond-esque super-group M-1 Global has made advances toward no-necked strongman Mariusz Pudzianowski.

“The Russians would like to download to yourself ‘Pudziana’ in April,” reads one interpretation. Who could resist such an offer?

Billed as the World’s Strongest Man, “Pudziana” throttled an outmatched Marcin Najman last Friday in Poland, landing a series of ugly, awkward punches and kicks until the referee peeled him off. It was more wild-animal attack than fight, but it apparently impressed M-1 enough to float Aleksander Emelianenko as a possible opponent.

I expect Pudzianowski has handlers to rebuff these kinds of advances, but if not, he’s about to become the latest in a long line of ill-qualified attractions that prefer money to common sense. There have been massively powerful individuals -- Mark Kerr, Tom Erikson -- who were able to marry actual skills with their horsepower -- and still got beat. If you’re constructing a fighter, are you really going to sacrifice years of grappling ability to add a few hundred pounds to his deadlift?

Pudzianowski is a novelty act. If he’s treated like one, more power to him. If he’s treated like a fight athlete, his protein shakes are going to have to go through a wired jaw.