Pardon Me, But I Think You’ve Broken My Pancreas

Having never gone through residency, my medical opinion is formed almost entirely by Google. But I’m still pretty sure you can’t break organs.

This is in direct conflict to the headline on a claim made by a man in Lone Jack, Mo., who is suing the Title Boxing Club for facilitating a sparring match in which he received significant damage to his pancreas after a knee strike to the torso. According to local press, Joshua Boswell was finishing up a recreational workout when his “manlihood felt challenged” by an instructor and he was coerced into a ring session where his wife’s cousin delivered the litigious blow.

Two immediate observations: “manlihood” is probably not an actual word, and if Boswell knows anything about women, he shouldn’t entertain the idea of suing her relatives.

Naturally, Title disputes the account and claims the sparring was supervised; Boswell asserts the knee lacerated the “head” of his pancreas and resulted in $150,000 in medical fees. If Boswell was indeed inexperienced, he probably didn’t need to be sustaining live strikes. This is the unwelcome side effect of MMA’s popularity: emulating what’s seen on TV without the understanding. If Boswell’s “manlihood” felt challenged, so did his common sense.